We all want to be happy, but when good things happen to us, we don’t always allow their positive effects to ripple through our lives. This changes when you practice savoring.
As discussed in the previous post, being mindfully aware of your feelings during positive events and consciously savoring them, can increase happiness. “It is like swishing the experience around … in your mind,” says Fred Bryant, Professor Emeritus of social psychology at Loyola University Chicago and the father of savoring research.
In their 2017 book Savoring: A New Model of Positive Experience, Bryant and his co-author Joseph Veroff articulate 10 savoring strategies:
- Share with others: communicate and celebrate positive experiences
- Build memories: actively store details of good moments for future reminiscence
- Self-congratulate: revel in your achievements
- Sharpen sensory perception: focus intensely on details of an experience to deepen it
- Make positive comparisons: contrasting experiences with less pleasant situations makes them seem better
- Be absorbed in the moment: immerse fully, blocking distractions
- Show your emotions: laugh out loud, shout for joy, clap your hands to celebrate
- Remind yourself how time flies to more fully appreciate fleeting experiences
- Count your blessings: reflect and express gratitude – out loud or in a journal
- Avoid killjoy thinking: don’t diminish or downplay positive experiences
So – how can you apply “savoring” techniques in real life?
It Starts With Slowing Down And Noticing
Savoring doesn’t require any special training, a dedicated place, or much time; just a willingness to slow down and appreciate good things you perceive — past, present and future.
Slowing down and noticing is something many of us find difficult. Seemingly insurmountable to-do lists, long work hours, busy family schedules, constant interruptions from phones and other devices, or emotional suffering like grief, depression, or anxiety, can make it difficult to notice the good.
Noticing even seemingly unimportant things, like the minty flavor of your dental floss, the soft fabric of your bathrobe, or the sound of birdsong on your morning walk, is a great start. Here are some ways to increase your ability to notice:
- Looking: Notice the colors, shapes, lines, and textures in an image, in the room around you, or in nature (when you’re outdoors). You can look for something new every day.
- Listening: Pay attention to the sounds around you, like the sound of your footsteps, the hum of an air conditioner or heating, or a distant barking dog. You can make a sensory map of the sounds you hear.
- Sensing: Pay attention to different physical sensations, like the feel of a soft fabric you touch, dewy grass under your bare feet, the temperature of your food or drink, or a particular smell.
- Going places: Take a different route or walk with a companion to notice new things. You can also make up games to find new things, like: “Look for something yellow” – a great way to also help kids develop their noticing skills.
- Connecting with others: Observe people around you. Notice their body language, facial expressions, or vocal inflections.
- Being alone: While it’s wonderful to connect with others, it can also be distracting. Notice what you see and do when you’re alone, like waiting in line or eating a meal by yourself, without pulling out your phone or listening to music.
- Capturing the moment: Take a photo or video of something you notice. You can also draw or journal about something you see or experience.
- Practicing visual literacy: Spend time looking at a familiar image like a poster on your wall, with fresh eyes, noticing details you missed before.
From Noticing to Savoring
Once you notice these small things, savoring is only a tiny step away: all you need to do is allow yourself to experience a positive emotion in response to the thing you’ve noticed, such as pleasure, gratitude, joy, laughter, or awe.
Do you find the colors in an image or the shape of a mug pleasing? Do you feel drawn to the warmth in a person’s voice or eyes? Are you uplifted by a lilac tree bursting with scented blooms? Humming or gently moving along with music you love? If so, you’re savoring!
Finally, to prolong and embed this pleasant experience, take a mental (or actual) photograph so you can return to it whenever you feel like it. One way to do this is by jotting down these experiences in a journal; rereading them can help you revisit that happy memory. A 2005 study found that when people made a note of three good things that happened to them each day for two weeks and reflected on how it made them feel and why they thought it happened, this boosted their happiness levels for up to six months! This study was successfully replicated in 2012. (Here’s the “Three Good Things” exercise, if you’d like to give it a try.)
A favorite memory that I often revisit is the sense of awe and wonder I felt watching the sun rise over Monument Valley (after a pretty rough night in the tent, which probably made the sunrise even sweeter). Another is the pure and unadulterated exhilaration I experienced as I skied down a wide open, tree-lined slope many years ago, feeling utterly weightless and fearless.
Take a Savoring Walk
For savoring newbies, taking nature walks — without your phone or any athletic goals — can be one of the easiest ways to hone your noticing and savoring skills.
If at first you don’t notice anything interesting, try engaging your senses, silently asking yourself as you walk: “What am I seeing?”, “What am I hearing?”, “What am I smelling?” and “What physical sensations am I feeling?”
Trying to notice the positive – “What can I see/hear/smell that’s beautiful, pleasant or uplifting?” – elevates this activity from a mindful walk to a savoring walk.
Some years ago, during a rough patch in my life, a therapist recommended I start each day with a morning walk. Feeling chronically busy and overwhelmed, I resisted her advice at first, but I quickly learned that as soon as I set foot outside my front door, I would notice birds, insects, flowers, cloud formations, lichen-covered rocks, and more. These sights and sounds never failed to elevate my mood and shift my perspective.
I became so enchanted by these daily discoveries that I challenged myself to take a picture of at least one uplifting thing I saw each morning and post it to my Instagram account, Recipes for Disaster (no longer active, but still accessible).
Since there are many more ways to savor the good, I will return to this topic in future posts. For now, simply remember: Savoring doesn’t require extraordinary effort, money, or talent. All you need is an openness to recognizing and appreciating life’s good moments. Start small, be consistent, and watch the good reveal itself.
If you’d like to join a group of fellow savorers (or aspiring savorers), please sign up to my online community, Savor, where we jointly explore ways to savor the good in our lives. This includes online activities like cook-along classes and group hangouts, as well as in-person events including Savoring Walks and picnics.